Less than a month and a half to go

As the end of this non-drinking year draws near I've began thinking about drinking again. No, I don't mean drinking now, but next year. What can/will I drink, how much will I drink, when. There is no way I will never have alcohol again, and a certainty that I'll reintroduce it to my diet Jan 1, but definitely, yes definitely, it will be in moderation. The thing is, I'm a little scared of drinking again. I'm scared of:

• Hangovers. I saw my lovely other half go through one the other day, and I have many, many memories of awful hangovers I've given myself. Yes they can be avoided by drinking in moderation but even sometimes a bad wine or a little too much (2.5 glasses instead of 2) tipsmyou over into hangover territory. It's not only that I can't afford to take a day off anymore, but I just hate the pain, the headaches, the nausea.

• My Health, or people's aspersions about my health. Most specifically it is my Dr and rheumie's idea of my health. I feel like it was only when I stopped drinking that the persistent health issues were taken seriously. Now I know that this wasn't the case at all, and it just needed time for the diagnosis to be confirmed, but it felt like eliminating one possible factor meant something. I know moderate drinking can be part of a healthy lifestyle, and goodness knows that not drinking didn't help my weight problems one iota, but I just can't seem to stop this lingering doubt. I really should stop worriyng about other people's perceptions.

• My Health Pt 2 - I'm now on medication and feeling but better than I was. And alcohol doesn't really interact with it, so there are no problems there but I am still scared. Scared that it will interact, or that it might make me sick, or that I'll turn green with purple polkadots.

• Forgetting my limit. I had a bit of an issue with this in the past. It wasn't that I had to drink to get drunk or anything, it was more that I just got caught up in the social aspect of it all. No, not drinking games or the like, just having fun with friends over a drink or two would turn into 3 drinks, 4 drinks, another bottle and before I knew it I'd gone beyond giggly and was going to feel it the next day. I know my limit, I know when to stop, but I know me, and I know I get easily carried away when I'm happy and in a social situation.

But these are just fears, and I have a lot of stupid fears in life. They're phobias really, some common (spiders, heights, snakes) while others are rather strange (darleks, though that's somewhat cured, telephones, conversations that is, and making calls not the objects themsevles, and people brushing their teeth - that's a real doozy.) I can't let fear rule my life. And there are good things to drinking too. I'm convinced it will help relax me and ease my headache. That's just as irrational as my fears, but it is a positive delusion. Hopefully in the next few months I can overcome these silly fears and become the balanced drinker I know that I can be.

November Update

The most amazing fuschias are flowering in the balcony garden at the moment, I just had to share them with you. I'm gearing up for another hectic summer so the blogging has taken a little hiatus while I ramp up the relaxing, and I am afraid the blogging break willbe even when I venture into the world of teaching. I've been visiting my new school and getting prepared for the summer intensive that is all part of Teach For Australia. It is such an exciting turn in my life, and I look forward to my new career. However, it does mean I have to get the 'me' time in now. Apart from that prep, here are some highlights of my recent, alcohol-free weeks:

My dear friends bought an amazing house (their second!) and despite the fact that champagne was flowing I managed to steer clear and stay sober. And I didn't miss it, even though it was top shelf stuff.

Medication for my health issues has begun to work and I am feeling soooooooooo much better! The brain fog is still there on occassions but I can finally exercise again, which is a big relief. At some stages it was getting too hard to walk to uni and that is only 10 minutes up the road.

I went on a holiday to Adelaide. It's been the month for holidays - my rellos went to America, my folks to Vietnam and Cambodia and my cousin to New Zealand. Gee, I think they got the better deals out of that lot!

The garden is amazing! I'll post about it on Totally Inept Balcony Gardener soon. The tomato plants (all 28) are growing madly, there is a white eggplant, a yellow zucchini and a few mini cucumbers as well as a tonne of apples on the apple trees. I love my balcony garden, it makes me smile every day. Here is a view from both angles to give you the best impression of my second story green wonderland.

I've been sewing more dresses. I did this lot when I was in Adelaide and there are more to come. Mum donated a lot of the fabric (love you Mum!!!) while some came from op shops in SA. I aim to finish another 20 or so before TFA claims my waking life.

Op shopping - more wonderous finds. So far the Goodwill in Adelaide wins the best priced fabric award - all lengths were $2.50! I found some anazing vintage fabrics there, and have turned some into articles of clothing for deserving girls around the world already. I also found some great green goblets to break the teetotalness with this new years. Add in a few dresses, some threads and some bias binding and it was the best op shop trip yet. My lovely friend R who shopped with me managed at least 15 articles of clothing, so it really was the best day!

Phone games are addictive. Tiny Tower and Pocket Planes I am looking in your general direction.

The apartment next door has the cutest ginger cat who visits us almost every night (once they've gone to sleep methinks.)  As long as he doesn't wake me up (we sometimes sleep with the doors open) then I'm totally fine with the visitation 'arrangements'.